(Content by Phoenix – originally published in The Telegraph Magazine)
iJoyRide: Talk about flogging a dead horse…
The makers of Britain’s latest exercise device claim that it can make you as fit as riding the real thing. Bryony Gordon was left unconvinced – and sore
I am sitting on a mechanical horse that looks like a lavatory on skis. It is shuddering forward and backwards, to the left and to the right, like a Bucking Bronco, and the only way to stay on the mechanical horse that looks like a lavatory on skis is to grip on for dear life… with my thighs.
The best way to describe how I feel right now is silly. Really very silly indeed.
Let me introduce you to the iJoyRide. Its name may lead you to believe that it is a piece of equipment that simulates being a passenger in a stolen car driven by a teenager, but it is in fact a £399 machine that promises to “give you an effortless exercise work-out” by mimicking the effects of horse-riding.
You have probably noticed the iJoyRide this week because its makers have taken out huge adverts in various national newspapers (including this one). The adverts feature a woman with a coquettish smile, brandishing a riding crop as she perches on top of the machine.
She looks a little bit like Jordan but is, in fact, a mother of two called Danielle Gerardo, who claims that after just six weeks of using the machine for 15 minutes, twice a day, she dropped from a size 14 to a size 12, lost 11lb and got rid of three inches around her waist.
“After the first 15 minutes I felt like I had done two hours in a gym,” said Danielle.
Presented with evidence as strong as this, I was intrigued. Like the rest of the weight-obsessed nation, I am always intrigued by a product that claims to offer a short-cut to a perfect body: running on a treadmill in a rubber suit, applying electrodes to one’s body and letting them fight the fat while one lies back and watches telly, breath-defying Spandex pants that “absorb cellulite” – there’s something for everyone in our time-poor, fat-fearful days.
So I logged on to the website. It explained that users of the iJoyRide got firm bums, tums and thighs as they were forced to use their core muscles to balance themselves atop the machine.
I watched footage of women in workout gear saying things such as: “It feels really nice. I have a nice satisfying ache.” (No, I didn’t just make that up.) I watched Richard Madeley ride one, too. His summary was less sexy, though more to the point: “It hurts your bottom, to be honest. I’m glad I don’t have piles.”
I read gleaming testimonials. Here is Simone from Southampton: “I hate exercising but the iJoyRide has been one of the easiest ways for me to tone up my flabby bits, especially my thighs and butt.” And here is Moira from Bonhill: “Even my mum got rid of her tummy doing nothing else but 15 minutes a day on the iJoyRide for just four weeks.”
Well, if even Moira’s mum got rid of her tummy, I had to have a simulated steed. I ordered an iJoyRide. This ready-assembled apology for anything equine arrived with a DVD and a leaflet explaining how it worked, complete with even more testimonials.
Here is Danielle from London: “Even my mum lost her belly doing nothing else but 15 minutes a day on the iJoy for just four weeks.” Hang on, isn’t that what Moira said? And why is Stephanie from Berkshire repeating Simone from Southampton’s glowing testimonial word for word? Could she not make up her own quote?
Undeterred by this, I readied my steed. This was simple enough; it merely involved plugging it in. I climbed on and pressed the warm-up button. It started wobbling. My challenge was to keep my balance without grabbing the sides (obviously the lavatory on skis did not come with reins or mane).
After a few minutes I sped it up to the next level and then, a few minutes later, I giddied up another level. Suddenly, it was going very fast indeed. Galloping, I would say. I laughed and pretended to lassoo the photographer. Within moments my thighs were aching from gripping the darn thing. Then it occurred to me: did I really want to end up with a pair of thick, solid horse-rider thighs and buttocks?
No, I did not. I dismounted, my cheeks ruddy not with the fresh bracing air of the outdoors but from laughing too much.
It was time to seek expert opinion. I spoke to Rob Burr, of Phoenix Personal Training, and asked him about the claims made for the iJoyRide.
“I think some of them are a bit shoddy, actually,” he said. “The website says it will improve lymphatic flow, which helps get rid of cellulite, but so does drinking water or going for a jog in the park. They claim that working your core (abdominal) muscles helps to burn calories, but so will any general exercise, and ones that use resistance – and this doesn’t – will burn far more. It also relies a lot on inner thigh muscles, but if you over-use those you end up with a muscle imbalance and that can cause problems with your hips and knees.
“I worry that the kind of people who this is aimed at – new mothers who want to shift baby weight, for example – won’t have strong core muscles; they’ll rely on their outer ones instead. That can cause back pain.”
Richard Briggs, OBE, who runs Hyde Park stables, was equally sceptical. “I could give you three months of horse-riding lessons for the amount that machine costs.” Actually, thinking about it, I could probably buy a pony for less. “But,” he continued, “it depends on what you want to do. Do you want to be the person who thinks they are doing themselves some good because they have gone to the gym and spent half an hour on a gimmicky machine, or do you want to be someone who is actually changing their way of thinking and getting out into a beautiful park on a living thing, breathing in fresh air and boosting your circulation?”
It’s a tough call, but I think I’ll leave the lavatory on skis to Danielle and Moira and her mum.